Last year was hard.
Covid-19 entered our world, my world, and divided us. Quarantine started for me on March 12, 2020. I started working from home after a 1-2 day notice. We were told it was a possibility we would be working from home soon, but then, WHOOSH! The world took a hard left and all of a sudden we were thrown into a whole new universe. The whole company was learning how to connect remotely from home using a laptop, improvising desks, monitors, chairs etc. I used a dresser as a desk, a rocking chair and a 19 inch TV for my 2nd monitor. Trying to make the best of a stressful situation, many of us made it fun by calling our pets and children “coworkers” and working in our pajamas.
I was isolated, safe. My husband is an essential worker and worked outside the home, so I didn’t even have to leave to go get groceries. Everything was brought home to me. So when I finally ventured out of the house in my cute handmade mask for the first time, I was a little embarrassed to wear it because it was foreign and felt strange. It had been a little over a month since I’d left the house. Getting out of my car, I was shell shocked! There was a line of people distanced 6 feet apart waiting to get into the store. All were wearing masks and I burst into tears thinking that this is the world we live in now. Once inside, I broke down again when I saw there were aisles marked for only one direction and limits were set on so many things. So many empty shelves and it was so overwhelming. I didn’t ease into this new reality, I was plunged into it. I saw and heard about these things, on the TV and the internet, but it wasn’t real until that day.
The 2 week quarantine turned into a month, then two and then, until the end of the year. Now, over a year later, we are stuck in an open ended scenario that is slowly moving toward a new normal. The fun of working in our pajamas wore off and turned into, “Why bother even getting dressed?”
I mean, we weren’t going anywhere anyway, right? This mindset made the slippery slope down into waking up later and later, then not showering for days. There were times I stayed up late because I knew once I went to sleep, I would have to repeat the same routine over and over. Day after day. This pandemic loop. Like being stuck in the same day over and over. Except we lost time.
I did finally adjust to this “new normal” and made myself get out of bed and get dressed everyday. I bought special pajamas for Easter and my son Tyler and I watched church outside on the patio. I began to fix up a space of my own to work in. I got ready for work in the morning. Things were looking up and I was feeling better. Then, I found out my son Seth had Covid. He was out of town and considered high risk because of his diabetes. I felt helpless. I couldn’t go to him and he was advised to stay quarantined where he was. Thank God he only had a mild case and is now fine, but C19 touched my circle and I got scared and anxious. I just wanted him home and in the safety of my bubble.
Once home, he found an apartment with a friend and moved. It was kind of sudden to me and I again had a shift in my world, but we would get together again on holidays, right? My daughter, Paige, was already living on her own and working at the hospital of all places. This was another stressor that I just had to leave at the feet of Jesus. She would call me and tell me from time to time that she had likely been exposed because of a patient. My anxiety was on high alert.
Before I knew it, another person I knew had the virus, then another and another. It felt like the walls were closing in. Then one day, my husband J was sent home from work because he was congested. He had to be tested before he could return to work even though, we knew it was his allergies. We anxiously awaited the negative result so we could tell them, “I told you so.“ However, the test was positive. Again, I was deflated. This virus infiltrated my safe place, my sanctuary. All the isolation, hand sanitizer, masks and hand washing didn’t keep this alien from invading my universe, my home and my family. I quickly got tested, negative. Then tested again days later, negative. I dodged a bullet. We thought J was a false positive until his sense of taste and smell were affected.
Time is a blur in the era of a pandemic. A day felt like a week, and month would go by in a day. So many memories made purposefully to help keep us afloat in these strange waters that is life now. At some point during all this, my ex, father of my children, lost his house to a fire and his mother died. J’s grandmother, Noni, also died along with a couple of other close family friends. Funerals were surreal in the time of Covid. Hugging was no longer “safe” and all the “social” distancing prevented us from comforting each other. It was a nod, a wave and sincere condolences from two yards away. People afraid to touch and mourning was awkward in an already depressing era.
With Thanksgiving on the way, we all quarantined so we could try to get together. But the day finally came and Seth’s roommate tested positive, but I was not going to let Covid steal another important moment! I was bound and determined to look on the bright side. Operation: Deliver Thanksgiving was in full swing. Everything was cooked and packed and ready to make the rounds to family. Bringing the holiday to them in masks and gloves, we distanced in the yard to visit for a few minutes until moving on to the next house. It was one to remember for sure. That same weekend we had to take photos in separate groups to display on the annual Christmas card. It was definitely an event to remember!
Christmas rolled around and provided a little relief as we gathered in a small group in our home, in masks, and exchanged gifts. It wasn’t the same, but it afforded some connection. At least…
Happy New Year 2021! This would surely be a turning point in the never ending saga that is Covid 19. Things were turning around. Finally! Things were opening, with restrictions. Vaccines were being approved and numbers of cases and deaths were starting to fall. One by one, we were vaccinated. The shot made you feel almost invincible. Regulations being lifted throughout the state.
Today, things are not back to the old normal. They probably never will. People were lost. Hearts were broken and battles were fought. Every one of them took a toll on all of us. I will never be the same, none of us will. This pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in people. My hope in the end is that we will come out of this better somehow. I guess we will see.
